I Don't Want to Be This

Original Release:  November 2, 2018

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EVERY TIME

Oh baby, you don’t seem to get it 
I won’t be coming round just to see if you will 
And every little time that you show up in rags 
I put an extra lock on my windowsill

Oh mama, can’t you hear your own voice? 
You keep saying that you’ve changed but then you’re holding a gun 
Once in every while you take a little more care 
To make sure that I won’t ever end up with her

I CAN’T HELP YOU

You broke my heart again 
Seems like you can’t help but do that 
I woke beside you in bed 
Just to find you had turned back

I can’t help you, baby 
If you don’t know how to love someone 
I can’t help you, baby 
If you don’t know what you want

So you can call me again 
But it still hasn’t dawned on you 
That when you throw me away 
There’s nothing that I have to do

I can’t help you, baby 
If you don’t know how to love someone 
I can’t help you, baby 
If you don’t know what you want

BORED

I tried to be on board 
And act like I saw just what it was 
What is about love that can’t be reasoned away? 
All of those things they might become if you got out of the way

And I saw just what it was

Try to see me once more 
You act like you’ve finally had enough 
It’s time to cough it up 
You’re bored

Fell short if the goal was ‘to change’ 
Never met what couldn’t be explained 
She put on her coat as she heads for the car 
The frost upon the glass just like a broken heart

And I saw just what it was

Try to see me once more 
You act like you’ve finally had enough 
It’s time to cough it up 
You’re bored

INSIDE THIS HOUSE

I’m sorry I’m being too loud 
I can turn it off 
I’m sorry I tried to kiss your mouth 
I can turn it off I wrote a new song today 
Yeah, I can turn it off 
Cleaned up and dinner’s on it’s way 
I can turn it off

Inside this house… 
Inside this house… 
Inside this house… 
Inside this house…

I might go out this week 
But I can keep it down 
Even though you and I don’t speak 
Yeah, I can keep it down

Leave the house so quietly 
Yeah, we keep it down 
You resent the sight of me 
You don’t keep it down

Inside this house… 
Inside this house… 
Inside this house… 
Inside this house…

TEACH ME

I cut my teeth on you 
I didn’t need to get hurt 
You know I wanted to

Show me what you hid 
Beneath your bangs and your dress 
Show me what you did

You wanna teach me 
Show me the ropes 
Feel the pressure getting tight 
Wrapped around my throat

I let you bite my lip 
You’re gonna eat me alive, girl 
Bit by bit

You’re my favorite degree 
So tear the dial off the wall 
And cut your teeth on me

You wanna teach me 
Show me the ropes 
Feel the pressure getting tight 
Wrapped around my throat

You wanna teach me 
Show me something new 
Yeah I said I haven’t tried before 
Just never with you

You wanna teach me

CRUEL

I’ve been saying for days 
Complicated isn’t worth that now 
I know what I did 
Was it wrong to wanna look so bad?

You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
I wasn’t supposed to come and break your heart

You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
This piece of shit will never work that hard

Blank stare 
I can’t explain myself 
I just did it to feel something 
Cruel

Putting cardboard on windows 
Sleep till noon and keep the sunlight out 
I see my phone lighting up 
I must have done something when I blacked out

You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
I’m not the thing you should be looking for

You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
You’re coming round (You’re coming round) 
But we both keep coming back for more

Blank stare 
I can’t explain myself 
I just did it to feel something 
Cruel

WARNING SHOT

I’m not waking 
My eyes won’t open up 
You get frustrated 
You say ‘that’s enough’

Don’t drag me out 
Into paperwork 
The lawyer can forge it 
My signature by yours

I don’t want this 
To continue or not 
I don’t want this 
It’s a warning shot

It’s all the same 
Sleepless nights 
Suicide and money 
Wrapped in Christmas lights

And it’s got me angry 
Made a villain of you 
Consequence of vision 
Now what are we to do?

I don’t want this 
To continue or not 
I don’t want this 
It’s a warning shot

IT’S NOT THE END OF AN ERA (IT’S JUST THE END)

Break 
Play the B-Side 
Let the single rot on the outside

We can dance around the novelty 
Of false epiphany 
On your time

Shake 
Rip up the low vibes 
Surfing out into low tides

We can get down in the sea foam 
Or just stand around 
Looking dumb

Sink 
Back into your house 
Let your own crowd bring you down

We can hate all that we wanna be 
A false epiphany 
That keeps the sun

It’s not the end of an era 
It’s just the end